I remember that Friday in March two years ago. I was wearing blue and praying intently, thanking God for the gift I didn’t deserve. Then, the girl who read at the Mass said the priest wanted to see me. Without any idea why, I followed her to where the priest was and he said, “Would you like to read?”
Would I like to read?
If you’d known me just recently, you’d find it hard to believe that I used to have a bad case of stage fright. (On the other hand, people who knew me from college would find it hard to believe that I talk a lot now.) In school, I dreaded having to recite and report. If only I can get away with just sitting there listening and taking exams and doing papers, school would’ve been a piece of cake. I remember losing my voice in the midst of a Shakespeare report and once in college I literally wept.
Someone even had a simile for me: I was “makahiya” – or bashful mimosa, a sensitive plant that folds to the slightest touch. Talk to me and I would be lost for words. Literally.
Would I like to read?
Being a lifetime reader, of course I would like to read. I became a librarian because I thought I could read everything I wanted. Guess I’d leave everything for a job that paid me to do nothing but read.
But reading for the Mass is different. Reading for the Mass means walking up in front and proclaiming the Word of God for the whole congregation.
I, the girl who would cry if asked to speak before more than five people, the girl whose social vocabulary consisted of “yes,” “no,” and “maybe.” I can’t do it. Knowing my limitations, I replied, “Yes, Father.”
Why did I say that? I don’t know. All I know, and I remember the feeling clearly, is something inside compelled me to answer nothing but “Yes, Father.”
On May 30, 2015, I was installed as a member of the Ministry of Lectors and Commentators.
Today, I read for ordinary day and Sunday Mass. I am also an anchor of our radio show. I sing (and dance) in public now. I do emcee-ing for trainings and programs, even without preparations. And I talk to people now.
Who would’ve thought this “makahiya” would be cured of her stage fright by nothing but that “Yes, Father”?